Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The ABCs of Bad Health

Here's a fast way to BAD health.

I really don't like the fresh air or clean spring water. My approach to life is one of doubt, in myself, in others, and in the world, damn it. So I stay inside, sit on my couch, and wolf down a greasy spoon delight to calm down the burning acid that reaches forth tongues of liquid fire from my gut deep into my throat.
Sound fun? Well here's how I live in miserable health, the exciting ABC way.
A - Get Really ANGRY
Being angry is a common feeling of mine. I stay angry so often it has become a comfort, a delight to see how my words can hurt others almost as much as they hurt me inside, cause a pain in my back, and acid indigestion. And my neck? Better to be tense with anger than have to face my fears and resolve some frightening inner conflicts. It's their fault, not mine.
B - BOOZE it up
I like to booze it up while living my life of excess. I'm not satisfied with one or two drinks a day. No, I really need five or six drinks to get going, along with two hamburgers, a super sized fry, and a nice sugary dessert. Of course, joined by a cigarette before, during, and after. I'll top it all off with a few peanuts. Hey, you only live once, so why not?
I'm a couch potato, and I sit a whole lot. Basically all day whenever possible. I try to move as little as possible, because I want to save my energy for later. I'm ensconced in a well formed, custom fit thermal jacket wrapped around me, keeping me warm and protected from the outside world. I avoid going out, or doing much of anything; I have my couch.
So there you have it. My short and miserable life from being angry and boozed up on the couch. There wasn't much hope for me.